To date a person with Lupus you must first understand what it is and how it may affect them. It is flattering to know that you did your own research about lupus before asking them serious questions. Talking about lupus is a very touchy subject, so be careful with your words and sensitive to their feelings. Dating someone with lupus may be difficult because you never really know how they feel or what they are going though.
Lupus patients often have different mood swings because of the side effect of lupus having flare ups and also the medication they may take. People with lupus can experience many different problems because of lupus, such as joint pains, headaches, swelling, sensitivity to touch and so on but their blood work may not show that they are not having a flare up; they are just having side effects of Lupus. Even with all this going on they still want to be loved they still want to know that someone has their back.
Lupus patients may sometimes feel like they are a burden to others, so often times they won’t spill all the beans. They don’t want to be judged and they don’t want sympathy, they simply want to live as normal a life as they can. It’s hard to explain that going shopping all day, then out to eat, then the movies and bowling is too much. It’s not that they don’t want to but that they are physically not capable of doing all of these things in one day.
The key to dating a lupus patient is having patience. If you think thing can go far with this person take the time a truly get to know them and their story. If you don’t see a future, don’t waste their time and yours. It’s ok to tell a lupus patient this is more than I think I can handle, they will respect you more for your honestly, than saying I’m with you a year later you show that you are not.
When you have an invisible illness it’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have a clue what that it is a daily struggle being in pain or feeling sick on the inside when you look fine on the outside.